a dream on hold . . . . for now

As per requests (and yes, I have officially spent WAY TOO MUCH time blogging this evening!!), here is a rundown of my brainstorm of the summer . . . . around sometime in June I realized how inadequate I felt as I was approaching my 25th birthday later in the summer. I felt as though there was nothing that I had accomplished or experienced that I actually felt proud of. I had not really published anything, which I had dreamt of doing throughout much of my youth and adolescence, and I was/am STILL working toward a career/fulfilling a passion, and lastly - I had not traveled anywhere. Of course, I was being overly dramatic, but for some reason I was just dreading that age, and the realization of having accomplished so much less than I thought I would have at that point. ANYWAY (yes, I am allowing myself to babble on my own blog!), I was inspired by a special I saw on tv regarding orphanages in Africa, as well as the high number of children who end up there due to the AIDS crisis which captures the lives of so many people in general, not to mention parents. To make a long story even longer, there was some feeling that came over me after having watched that which I have not been able to shake since. I realized that it was not just a fleeting response to what I'd seen; I wanted to go there. I wanted to go to Africa, any country there really, and I wanted to spend my time around those children, those people. It is funny because for years I've always thought that the first place I would venture to would be somewhere in Europe.
I instantly began searching online and asking my travel saavy friends, one in particular, for any ideas of programs and funding available. I knew that I didn't necessarily want to study or work there, but rather volunteer and devote my time and really all of myself. I guess in a way this sounds like a really selfish venture, but I'm not really doing this for the experience as much as I am positive that I have something to offer. After several unsuccessful attempts at locating a program that I was interested in, I found one that would allow me to volunteer from anywhere between 2 weeks and a year (or longer, if need be). And it was affordable. Oh, I left out another part to this story --- the first few programs I pursued were exceedingly expensive, and so I went on this wild goose chase for grant opportunities in these foundation directories at the public library. I spent several hours there over a few weeks, realizing that in order to obtain outside funding for such a dream would take an exorbitant amount of time and persuasion on my part, all the while guaranteeing nothing. So it was a relief when I came across this organization that seemed to be something I could really save for. I had done some research and decided I wanted to head to Ghana or Kenya. Since the latter of the two would allow me to volunteer in a school during the time I'd requested (mid-December to mid-January, our winter break), the decision was made. I sent in a very brief application toward the end of the summer, and about a week into this semester I got an email from them explaining that I would have to change the timeframe in which I was there since all of the schools would be closed during the month of December for holidays. I was so disappointed! At this point I am very glad that I had not sent in a deposit or begun any of the necessary medical steps. I am still hoping to go there, possibly in May once I am done with the program. I really am still just as passionate about this potential experience -- to devise my own lesson plans and be afforded the opportunity to teach to children in Africa, but I was not willing to extend the Master's program in order to reach that goal. There was a time over the summer when I really thought I would put this program on hold and try to go there in the fall. But I've thankfully concluded that this program is something that means something to me, and completing it is absolutely vital in order for me to move on to my next dream.