moment of enlightenment

as i am looking over the assignments jen donegan has given to her students i am having this realization about myself, about the way i have viewed english classrooms for a long time, maybe even forever. it is popping into my head that i have heard sarah mention in class several times that one of the best things about being able to teach english is that you can choose ANYTHING. i had never thought about that, but now i am finally coming around -- how true that statement is! i feel as though i have been straddling two completely different schools of thought and i was partially unaware of this. i am coming to grips with the fact that i am apparently much more of a traditionalist than i would have pegged myself in terms of what should be taught in the english classroom. you see for me, it was my passion with everything english that hooked me as an aspiring english teacher. i love the language, the use of words -- i love to read and write and spell. and yes, i am laughing at how ridiculously geeky i sound right now! but anyway, i was looking over these assignments and i had this epiphany -- NO MORE RESISTANCE. i am learning so much about myself - mainly that when i oppose something in a way that is intimidating for me to think about, i sometimes deny it entirely. to make myself more clear - i did not see just how frightened i've been about entering into an english classroom and realizing that it might never be what i had thought it would be. it might not be like some of the best experiences i had, because the appearance of an english classrom is changing completely, and the possibilities for what can be integrated are otherwise endless. and the best part of all is that this is a GOOD thing! but when i am unsure about something i somehow process it in a negative way. so, integrating technology into my classroom is scary to me because i do not consider myself comfortable with technology. and finally i am seeing how great that could be -- because i could learn things right along with the students. we could teach each other things, in a collaborative way, which is absolutely something i have always hoped to have in my classroom. so when i was a long-term sub two years ago, and i didn't see as much literature and 'traditional' english assignments planned, i completely panicked. and i am glad that now it is all making so much sense to me. it is ME who needs to make the change and to formulate a plan that will somehow allow me to still include some literature (be it YA or traditional, or god willing - both), as well as technology and other practical and useful assignments that pop up. so, back to how i started this whole ranting post -- i do see how powerful and exciting it is to know that my curriculum can change and update itself over the years, and that i can include so many elements of life into my classroom, none of which needs to be decided upon now. i've always hoped that i would learn how to create assignments that could be viewed simultaneously as fun and educational, and it seems that technology can be a potential answer to that. so anyway, it may seem odd that this long-winded rant has stemmed from my reading over jen donegan's assignments, but you just never know how something so small is going to affect you . . . . . and i can only hope that someday a student may say that about my class!